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#fbf Miss you Grandma. I stayed at your home this last week with Grandpa and though it was lovely and Grandpa was the perfect host, I sensed your not being there and it just isn’t the same. I imagined what you would be fussing over if you were there and how you would offer to hold and help with Henry every chance you got. How you would make sure we all had breakfast in the morning shuffling around in your robe and slippers. I imagined you sitting there in the evening with me while I was feeding Henry watching jeopardy and crocheting some blanket or hat for some lucky child. I can still hear your laugh. I miss you Grandma!! #familyisforever #grandmasharp #stgeorgeInstagram Today

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January in a sentence a day

Jan 1-2 I didn’t record these days so who knows what happened?!

Jan 3 – Had my brother and his cute family come and hang out at the house most of the day and later my parents and other brother and his wife joined us for hamburgers.


Jan 4 – Cousins Beckham and Evelyn came to play at our house and then we all went to my parents with cheesecake in tow to celebrate my oldest brothers birthday.

Jan 5 – Catch up on sleep day!

Jan 6 – We ventured out to my parents house again (me and baby included despite my hesitations) to spend time with my brother and cousins and had the most wonderful time sledding the best hill ever!


Jan 7 – I helped get the older boys ready for church and then enjoyed a quiet three hours with my baby.


Jan 8 – After feeling like I was getting sick early this morning I was sad to have to cancel our FHE we had planned with some dear friends but fortunately as the day progressed and I got a nap I started to feel better and rescheduled for the next day!

Jan 9 – Cleaned house, made cheesecake, took baby to his 6 week checkup (he’s now 9 lbs 10 oz  yay!) all by myself, Showered, got ready and had a wonderful evening with some good friends making and eating Pho and cheesecake. Yum.


Jan 10 – I worked on my family VHS videos most of the day interspersed with working on shutterfly for our 2017 family photo book and feeding and taking care of Henry and the boys. The day ended with a visit from some sisters from the ward, Gilmore Girls and cheesecake.


Jan 11 – More VHS transferring, shutter fly, laundry and just all around housework in-between feedings.

Boys reading Henry a book

Jan 12 – Friday ??

Jan 13 – Today I decided to not use my phone for anything other than the camera or as a phone and it was so nice. We got our back ‘disaster’ room cleaned up and then had some friends show up unexpectedly which was nice for the boys to play and go to the park with them and I also took a walk with Henry and my friend Miken.


Jan 14 – Was planning on going to church but when the morning came I chickened out (fear of catching a bug especially since my VT’s has just told me about how rampant the flu was going around in our ward) and even kept my kids home too. We enjoyed a nice evening at my parents having dinner and nice conversation where Henry even slept which is a big accomplishment sleeping somewhere new and not on me!

Jan 15 – My mom encouraged me out of my comfort zone and I went climbing with her where I surprisingly made it to the top 3 different times but am now paying for it in muscle soreness today.

Jan 16 – today was very uneventful, basically puttered around the house doing what I do.


Jan 17 – today I ventured out to take and pick up William from preschool and I also had the luxury of getting my hair cut, I don’t want to admit it but it had been almost a year since my last one!

Jan 18 – Gave the house a much needed cleaning and my sweet baby did his part by taking long naps; a welcomed change from the past several days.


Jan 19 – Stayed in my jammies all day.Today went by very fast despite my lack of productivity. Lots of smiles from my little one. Smiles and snuggles. Ben did school happily today which is always a win.


Jan 20 – Went climbing again today and this time took Ben with me. We are going to get better together. Unfortunately he has inherited his dads slight fear of heights but I think we can work with it. 🙂 I was so proud of him.


Jan 21 – David spoke in church today so it was the perfect motivation to get me to church for the first time in 2 months! He did so well and so did my 3 boys I might add. Then we enjoyed a nice evening at my parents house.

Jan 22 – Heard today that my Grandpa wasn’t doing well and would probably be passing soon. This inspired my mom and I to take our midnight drive to St. George. Talk about last minute, spontaneous packing! We left at 9 pm tonight.

Jan 23 – After only 3 hours of sleep we spent the day chilling up at my Grandma’s house (we always say ‘up’ because she lives on a hill). Unfortunately we didn’t get there before he passed but had a nice day with family helping how we could.

Jan 24 – Today we went on a hike in St. George called Turtle Rock. Henry slept the whole time and the 2 older boys did so good despite falls, meltdowns, hunger and thirst. Whew!

Jan 25 – Went to the park with cousins, ate pizza, enjoyed the sunshine, played in the red dirt at Grandmas, visited with family, good day.

Henry with cousin Logan

Jan 26 – My mom took the boys to a nature park with real dinosaur tracks! We ate mexican food and more cousin time at the park!

My favorite!!

Jan 27 – Today was the funeral and it was bittersweet. My grandpa had a full, amazing life and was ready to go. But we will miss him anyway and lots of tears were shed for that reason. The graveside dedication was wonderful too because the American Legion was there and did the whole rifle salute and folding of the flag etc. That afternoon lots of extended family played together at a park and then later got together at Village Inn for an adult dinner that I didn’t go to…I was so worn out!!

The four brothers
I wasn’t there because I had to go feed Henry darnit!

Jan 28 – Today I drove home to Logan  BY MYSELF. Before that we went on a little jaunt in the red dirt. I still don’t know how I did it (the drive, not the jaunt) but it happened! I definitely feel more empowered! It wasn’t terrible we only made 6 stops. So good to be home!


Jan 29 – Nice, quiet day at home. So nice not needing to be anywhere or do anything we just got back into the groove of our routine.

Jan 30 – Henry is 2 months old today and so so cute! I successfully taxied William to and from preschool (I survived St. George, I can do anything now!) and spent the rest of the day cleaning, finished laundry and working on home videos.

Jan 31 – Nothing very exciting happened today. Did my monthly homeschool planning for February and some meal planning for the next week. Cleaned the kitchen, snuggled my baby a lot while breastfeeding.

My Grandpa passed away early this morning hence our spontaneous trip to St. George last night. This is Henry’s Great Grandma meeting him for the first time this morning. I can’t help but cry that this little guy won’t ever know his great grandpa Stephenson because he was a giant of a man and such a special part of my life. Even my two ‘older’ boys who are still very young have been influenced by his spirit and love. We’ll miss him like crazy. #familyhistory #grandpastephenson #funeral #henryjoseph #stgeorgeInstagram Today

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Milk (particularly fat) Production Solved!

Have you struggled with breastfeeding? Milk supply low and baby not gaining weight? Do know someone who has? Well so have I but I’ve found something that works for me!

I am so excited about what we’ve found because I never thought anything could be done about it.

So travel back in time with me to my first two babies. Ben was a couple weeks old and quickly starting to look like a ghost. He’d lost a lot of weight but wasn’t gaining it back. My milk sucked. Enter formula supplementation and eventually breastmilk dried up altogether. I don’t even think it lasted 4 months. Maybe only 3.

Baby Ben

A couple years later with William, mastitis twice and clogged ducts and just overall breastfeeding struggles, including very low supply, enter formula again. It probably lasted only 6 months this time which was better than with Ben but still a disappointment.

I then had 4 years to learn things that would help me this time around and I wanted things to be different! I learned what mastitis actually was and how it happened. I learned more about how milk is made. I realized just how dehydrated I was those first two times and how much water you actually  need! This along with making sure I was getting enough protein (not enough protein, milk’s gonna suffer!).

So after Henry was born I was excited to implement all these things. I was drinking water like a horse and I also was not missing my protein drinks and meals which I also wasn’t doing before. I made sure that even though I was sore and cracked the first few days that no infection was able to get up  there and cause mastitis by using coconut oil as a cream and it worked like a charm! Coconut oil is amazing isn’t it?

Once my nipples healed I was still struggling with a yeast problem on them and was worried about it passing to Henry’s mouth so I nipped that in the bud with a prescription nipple cream (Newman’s) that was like magic. Side note: not wearing a bra for a day or so really helped with that also. Problem was I couldn’t just not wear a bra.

Things were going great. I had milk for my baby Henry! Plenty of milk! And just to ensure that it never stopped we have rented a hospital grade pump from the hospital and I pump when I feel it’s needed. I’m certain that if I didn’t have the luxury of a pump that I’d already be on a downhill slope with my milk…especially since my right breast is basically retarded. All these things have worked together to help make my milk supply ‘enough’.

Around 3-4 weeks however, I noticed that maybe  Henry was ‘skinnier’ than he should be. He had lost a lot of weight in his face and his limbs weren’t filling out like I guess babies would normally. Weighing him at home and with the midwife ensured us however that he was gaining weight so I tried not to worry.

Baby Henry

But I remembered something I saw online and wanted to try it. So I pumped my milk and let it sit overnight allowing the cream to settle at the top so I could see how much FAT my milk had! Turns out not very much at all! It had just the thinnest line at the top so duh no wonder he wasn’t getting chubby! Ya, he had plenty of milk but not enough fat within that milk.

The question now was how to increase the fat content of my milk?  The obvious answer was to start eating more fat, good fats. So I did that but it didn’t change anything. At this point I enlisted the help of my research junkie husband who spend a few minutes online and came up with a plan that he was pretty sure would work. I was so excited to try it because I knew it was probably our last resort before needing to supplement. Even though he was gaining weight it was at such a slow rate it was still a bit concerning.

The trick? Sunflower Lecithin!

It is an emulsifier of fat which means in layman’s terms, it makes the fat ‘slippery’ and easier to come out in the milk. This also may help prevent clogged ducts. So as they say it is supposed to increase the percentage of polyunsaturated fats in the milk.

On top of doing this I started taking a lipase enzyme to help me digest fat in general which I’ve always struggled with and have been meaning to do for years. Basically whenever I eat something with a high fat content like butter or cream etc I would not feel so great a few hours later. I just sorta suffered through it and mostly avoided too much but now that I’ve started taking this enzyme I’m kicking myself that I didn’t start sooner because it works for me! Bring on the cheesecake!

That layer of fat on top has more than doubled! And I’m sure it would increase more the longer I let it settle out. 

So, the ability to digest the fat I’m eating on top of taking the lecithin was the key! It’s working! My fat content has literally doubled and my babe is getting some noticeable chunk to him. Ok, he’s still  no Pumba but he’s getting there.

The only down side? The lecithin in liquid form (much cheaper than the pill) is downright gross. But I’ve found I can stand it if I mix it with my butter and put it on toast and cover it with jam or cinnamon sugar or mix it in my protein shake. So I deal because it’s working!

It’s only been about a week so I’m anxious to see just how much it increases or if it’s topped off at doubling it. And I guess unless I eliminate one or the other I wont know if it’s exactly the combination of the two or maybe it’s just the lipase or just the lecithin. I’ll update you later.

For now, if you’re struggling with your baby gaining weight run out and grab you some sunflower lecithin! It worked for me! And let me know if it worked for you!