Tag Archives: Aboutme

30 Questions for Self Discovery

  1. How do I feel at the moment?

Just finished breakfast, baby is sleeping, boys are playing battleship together. I feel really good. I’m trying to overcome this notion that my life is lacking in so many areas because it’s really not. I am listening to and watching my home videos of my family growing up and I realize even more how blessed I have been. I feel nostalgic. I feel anxious for my kids to have the same blessings..the same great memories I do.

2. What do I need more of in my life?

I need more of the spirit of Christ. More christlike attributes. I need more perspective of what’s really important…the ability to see my kids as they really are instead of little men trying to drive me crazy. they are just little boys! So innocent and sweet. I also need to have more genuine silliness in my life which will require no inhibitions or pride. Spontaneity and fun.

3. What would make me happy right now?

To be able to go to church without fear of illness and show off my baby. To get dressed up and feel good. To feel sunshine on my face and skin.

4. What is going right in my life?

My children are all healthy and happy. I am married to an amazing man who is genuine and serving and just an all around good guy. We are living in a nice area in a spacious home. Business is succeeding and growing and bringing much reward to those who have been working so hard. I can’t think of anything that is really going wrong right now. Ya, we need more money for things that we think we might need but there is no hurt, no uncomfortable living situations, no panic, no urgency. Content.

5. What am I grateful for? List at least 10 things.

  • Family
  • Healthy food, healthy family
  • Home, cars, water, clothes
  • Fresh air and blue skies and sunshine
  • Birds
  • Memories and technology
  • Jesus Christ
  • Music
  • Good smells
  • Being able to sleep good

6.  When did I experience Joy this week?

Everytime I am nursing my baby I feel joy. One morning particularly this week the sunrise was beautiful out my small window and birds were flying thru the blue sky and I felt my small baby’s hands on my chest and I knew that God was listening to my thoughts and prayers. I can look down at the small miracle at my chest and feel joy. Somehow it’s also helped me feel more joy with my two older boys too.

7. List all my small victories and successes.

Everyday I feel is a small victory. Most days getting healthy food down my kids throats is a victory. Making a yummy dinner for my family for me is a victory and I feel very good about doing that. Keeping my house clean and even giving my kids a bath feels like a success to me. This isn’t because I feel incapable of these things but because the list of things to do is so long and never ending that anything checked off that list is a small victory.

When I remember to send a birthday wish or I remember somebody’s name. When I have had a good conversation with a new or old friend.

When I get homeschooling done for the day with Ben.

Seeing my baby full and satisfied after bf. Seeing him sleeping good.

Natural birth.

Not scrolling thru instagram.

8. What’s bothering me? Why?

Always the worry of getting sick. Because of this I can’t get out as much as I want to or feel like I could.

This feeling that I don’t know myself anymore (hence this exercise) that I can’t think for myself and can’t be ‘original’ in my thoughts,  new ideas etc. It’s bothering me that my ‘creative’ brain seems to be dead. SM has probably done this to me.

There is so much i want to do in this life and there is a part of me that feels like the opportunity or the time to do so is slipping away. Will it ever happen?

I’m 32 this year and yet I feel  like I am not who I want to be. I don’t know who i am and I don’t feel one with my purpose. That’s a bother.

9. What are my priorities at the moment?

to fatten my baby up, help him grow up healthy and strong and well adjusted so that we can get to a normal routine sooner rather than later.

To educate my son to the best of my ability which requires me to rekindle and refresh my education.

To make our house a home. Furniture and decor etc. while staying in the small budget.

keeping my family healthy and happy

making sure they are making great memories and spending time with cousins and friends.

Today? This week? To get my vhs digitized and my 2017 photos scrapbooked.

10. What do I love about myself?

yikes.

I’m tall? I didn’t always love that about myself though. I do now. this is a hard one for me. I guess I don’t love a whole lot about myself.

11. Who means the world to me and why?

My kids. Because along with God we created them and then they grew inside me and I’ve nurtured and cared for them and in turn have eternal love for them. something that I believe is also just god given…a god given love. My husband. Because he and I are a team. We complete each other because we choose it to be that way. My family. My parents and my brothers and their wives. My family is really close. I grew up with my cousins, aunts and uncles all around me all the time and so they are all like immediate family to me. I can’t imagine my life without it being that way. I feel so blessed.

12. If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?

I imagine this as someone saying, “Hey, the world is listening, here’s the mic, you’ve got a few minutes.” Sheesh that’s daunting. I would probably say something like this…”I know God is real. He’s there and he’s your Father…who lives in Heaven. He loves you. Just as you imagine a great dad loves his child but even more perfectly. You are his child. He is the same today as he was yesterday and a thousand years ago. This means that today he has called a prophet just as he did back then. Jesus’ church is on the earth today and I invite you to find out for yourself if I’m telling the truth. Because if I am, it’s the most important thing you’ll hear and do in this life.”

13. What advice would I give to my younger self? (Do I follow this advice now?)

Stop scowling/squinting so much you’ll make a deep wrinkle in your forehead. Stop caring about what people think and be silly. Be more open about your feelings with others, be touchy and loving, kiss more boys and tell your parents you love them more often. Wear your retainer and take better care of your teeth.

14. What lesson did I learn this week?

That I still don’t know what I am doing with this parenting thing and will always be learning.

15. If I had all the time in the world, what would I want to do first?

Travel!!! Everywhere and anywhere!

16. What’s draining my energy?  How can I reduce or cut it out?

Right now, the stress of maybe my milk not cooperating. It seems to be very sensitive to my level of stress and level of sleep and water intake. If any of those things are off it suffers and then my baby suffers. Do I just supplement with formula? Maybe he’s just going through a growth spurt?

My son William has a really nasty cough right now and I am stressing over my baby getting it too.

Just overall not getting as much sleep as I normally would, what with a new baby and all.

I’m not sure there is much I can do about any of it except for choose not to stress over things i can’t control and do what I can about the things I do have control over like drinking enough water, taking lecithin and NOT STRESSING! duh.

17. What does my ideal morning look like?

Wake up with the sun. I love seeing dawn. Reading my scriptures and being filled with the spirit. Going on a hike or bike ride or doing something active outside. Showering and getting ready, feeling pretty and then making my family a delicious breakfast while we dance in the kitchen together.

Most mornings one or two of these things happen but I guess ideally it would be cool for it happen all in one day. 🙂 But I’ll take what I can get.

18. What does my ideal day look like?

I could be doing anything as long as my kids are healthy, I am not stressed over something, no one is yelling or fighting and we are spending time together as a family, its a good day. Throw in a new experience together, some quality time with family or friends and it’s going to be a great day.

19. What makes me come alive? When was the last time I felt truly alive?

Childbirth – not so much the labor part but the moment when that child is placed on my chest after the work is when I feel most alive.

When I’m outside exercising. Hiking. Southern Utah comes to mind. Red rocks, fresh air, heart pumping. Ahhhh. Yes. It’s been too long.

When I’m testifying of Jesus Christ and the spirit fills my heart. Yes, again its been waaaay too long.

20. What/who inspires me the most? Why am I drawn to those inspirations?

She would probably be surprised at my saying so but my mom. She is more of what I want to be as a mom. She has a way with people that I’m sure she doesn’t fully realize and this extends to her kids who all love her dearly. Plus she willingly got pregnant 5 times despite being extremely ill! That is very inspirational…at least to me.

There is also just people/strangers that I see who are going through or who have gone through something so hard and excruciatingly painful but who are still alive and kicking and even happy. Inspiring others and helping others who are going through it. I guess I’m drawn to it because I can’t fathom having the kind of strength that requires such endurance. I haven’t gone through anything that hard and can’t imagine anything other than crawling up in a ball and staying there forever. haha Guess you never know what strength you have until you need it.

21. Where does my pain originate? What would need to happen for me to heal?

I’m not sure what this question is getting at. Physical pain? Emotional? Maybe both? Or maybe it’s open ended so the writer can interpret it. Hmmmm my pain. Sorry i’ve got nothing.

22. What are my strengths? What am I really good at?

Geez, I don’t know why these questions are so hard for me. I guess I have a real self love problem.

I’m a good listener. At least that’s what I’ve been told.

I’m a fairly good cook.

I’m empathetic, not just sympathetic.

23. What is something I’ve always wanted to do but was too scared?

See most of the things below.

24. What is something I would love to learn?

I want to learn Chinese. I want to learn US History and maybe expand to world history. I want to sew.  The immune system. Herbs for healing. Interior decorating. Refinishing furniture. Make the worlds best loafs of whole wheat bread. How to not worry. BALLET! Yoga. How to shoot better and from the back of a horse. Ju Jitzu and karate. There are so many more things!

25. What hobbies would I like to try?

See above.

26. Where would I want to live in my ideal life?

Ideal, not imaginary. Because if it was imaginary it would be somewhere that looked like the green mountains of Canada but felt like the climate of Hawaii.

But ideally, hmmmm probably somewhere warmer than northern utah and as long as my family is not too far away that could be anywhere. I love the feeling of a remote ranch with land all around but I also love the convenience of a city with it’s close shops and opportunities all around. So somewhere in between like a small familiar town with just enough amenities would be ideal.

27. Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?

Oh this one is so my kind of question right now. I have such wanderlust right now. I would pack up my whole family and start an American tour first, with all the church history sights first and then the American History ones next. Then we would just explore and see the most popular sights like New York City and San Fransisco but I would also love to see the ordinary places like a small southern town in Mississippi. The National Parks would be next. Then parts of Canada and Alaska, Hawaii would be in there too cause it’s Hawaii and my family’s never seen it. Then when we felt we’d seen America sufficiently (is that even possible?) and our kids are now a bit older we would start traveling international. Where to go first?! Oh my! I have no idea! That’s a stinkin hard question! We’ve talked about Germany…maybe that’s where we’d start. Then New Zealand, and Iceland, Switzerland and France, Italy and Greece. I want to see the Holy Land and Africa, China and most of the other Asian countries. India and Australia. I guess basically everywhere. Except I don’t have a hankering to see Russia but that’s probably a mistake so I’ll have to look into it. Obviously that won’t happen in the next 5 years so for the sake of this question we will stick with…Church history, American History sights and the major National parks and cities, museums etc. So fun!

28.  What can I do to take better care of myself?

Start exercising again and get my posture corrected and prevent my back pain from getting worse.

Keep up with my spiritual goals and give my life over to God.

Serve others.

Keep journaling. More.

Read.

Learn.

Pamper myself everyonce and a while.

29. When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?

Natural childbirth.

Driving from St. George to Logan with newborn and 2 kids by myself.

Serving a mission, testifying of Jesus Christ to strangers, knocking on door and inviting strangers to learn more about Jesus. Teaching a room full of protestants about our church.

Lift heavy weights, do a push up, a pull up. Didn’t think it was possible!

Go on a cruise (thalassophobia), wakeboard, boating etc.

30. At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?

I hope that I can say that I was genuine and that I loved the people that were in my life. But mostly that I loved God.

 

 

 

 

Desire

I have such a desire to blog. I think about it a lot. Maybe it’s a desire to journal. I have been without a journal for about 6 months now. Once I filled up my last one I planned on getting a new one but it just hasn’t happened. I find writing to be very therapeutic.  But for some reason blogging just doesn’t click with me.  I wonder if it’s because I feel like each blog post has to be some amazing production.  The reality of it is my blog will never live up to what some of my favorite blogs are so in my head I think, “Why bother?” I also just feel like my life isn’t so exciting and why would anyone want to read about it?

I know that’s the wrong attitude.  So I am going to try and overcome it.  If anything blogging should be for me. Because it’s so therapeutic.

I want to post about things that are important to me, small as they may be.

I want to express my thoughts through word because heaven knows I’m not very good at it in person. Ask my husband. Am I one of the only human beings who literally can have no thoughts going on in my brain at any particular moment?

My grammar and punctuation is, I am sure, horrible! But I just can’t care about that either. And maybe, who knows, it will drive me to learn and get better.

My mom used to blog a lot. She used to love it. I used to love reading her blog. She was very good at it and I know I was one of many people who enjoyed reading it. I miss her blog and have pestered her about starting up again. Until then I will use her blog as my inspiration.  Wish me good luck. And hopefully I’ll be back soon.

Life as Expected

That’s a joke. You got that right? Life is never as expected. We’ve been anxiously waiting to move out of our apartment for months. The time was getting closer, I would try to bridle my searches of our next home. Our hopes were high, things were moving in the right direction.

Then the neighbors get the windows smashed in by a phys-co path and we’re outta there. In with my parents only very temporary while we search for the perfect rental.

Look at several, not exited. Think maybe it’s not the right thing. So we stay put for a bit longer. We start thinking about the real possibility of buying our own house. We look, we wait, we talk we have to wait so we wait some more.

Buying a house right now is not the best choice for us so we rent. Looking again, look at a few and find one!

Not at all what or where I would have expected way back in March of this year but I have to faith that things progress they way do sometimes for no reason at all but that Heavenly Father will make the best of our choices…meaning we will learn and grow in the way we’re supposed to.

If I told you I was smiling from ear to ear about renting for another year I’d be lying. I am not excited. I am not happy about being under the wrath (haha) of another landlord. I am not excited about not having the freedom to do what I want with the space we’re living in.

But I am excited about having own space again and A LOT more of it. Our last apartment was about 800 sq ft I believe.

I have LOVED living with my parents. The boys have LOVED IT even more. The yard here is dreamy. I can nap on the couch while they play outside and not even have one little worry. I could go on about why we have loved it but it’s just time to move on.  I need to nest.

Another thing that was not expected was that we are having another baby BOY! I really was smart enough not get my hopes up either way, sure a girl would have been so fun but I knew there was just a good of change that it was a boy. Somehow still when that sonogram revealed the gender I was surprised!

But boy am I excited.

I always wanted all boys!!

So here is to the next several months where the expectations I have of Ben going to kindergarten and William to preschool, the new house, the new baby and our financial status will probably be totally wrong! But right!

In the words of Catherine Thomas, “What is, is right.”

Life Happens

Wow. I am not very good at this blogging thing. Life happens and I stop. Obviously it’s not the biggest priority in my life….or maybe it’s just that life has been extra crazy? I will catch you up and you decide.

Hmmmmm ……

It might not seem like a big thing but the cold!!! Ah! It’s been so cold and so wet here! It really dampens my mood. Ugh. My face tells you how I feel about driving in snow in April.

I guess we will start with our living situation. One normal night we were in our beds sleeping with the window open letting fresh cool air in and all the sudden I hear this horrifyingly loud noise coming from outside. I was frozen. Was it an earthquake? Was it a car crash? Was it a car crashing into our apartment? Was it something I just couldn’t comprehend? All I knew was I frozen for about 20 seconds . David however spring out of bed quicker than a cat and was at the window frantically trying to see what was happening.

Then it was over. We still weren’t sure. He said he was going to go outside and look around. I called him back and said I had a yucky feeling and that I wanted him to stay here for a minute.

After a while of looking out windows and speculating we finally saw our neighbors (who happen to be the managers) outside talking with our other downstairs neighbor.

Longer story, shorter…a drunken, high physcho boyfriend of our downstairs neighbor had kicked in her window, (2 layers if thick glass!) crawled through it (without hurting himself) and strated to beat her.

He apparently took off because his story to the managers was that someone else broke in and he had to chase them off. Eventually the cops came and questioned everyone and then the search was on. They caught him which was great BUT the darn judge set his bail very very low and so he was released that very same day. Now she has a restraining order for him.

They day they brought a photo of him around to everyone and said “keep an eye out for him and if you see him on the premises call 911 right away”…was the end if it for me. We moved out that night.

Thankfully my parents were kind enough to let us bunk with them if only temporaryily.

My sweet neighbor is doing ok. I feel pretty guilt about leaving her there but I knew sleeping good would be over for me if we stayed.  She had a good bruise in the side of her head but she is tough.

So now we are on the hunt for our own place.

We were planning on moving out this summer anyway, so I guess this experience just hurried things a bit.

The next big news is that we are expecting baby #3!!!!

I am about 13 weeks right now. I am finally starting to feel a little bit better.

During this whole scary moving experience I was not feeling well at all…it was rough. And all new to me because with my first two babies I felt pretty darn great.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr. This is hard. I have so much more empathy for women who are sick during pregnancy.

But we are so excited.

Around this time we also had to plan David’s Graduation party. I had sent out invites already and it was happening! Don’t get me wrong I was so happy this was FINALLY happening but since I had become pregnant and not feeling great my motivation and umph to get this party going basically disappeared.

THANK HEAVENS FOR MY SIL MERICAR!

She took over and saved me.

She is an amazing party planner and cook and the party was more than I could have imagined! I may have to save that for another post altogether.  What a great day !

This is where I announced I was pregnant to all the family and friends that were there. It was fun.

So anyway you can see now maybe why I have MIA from my blog.

The only stress I feel now is finding our own place which is not an easy thing to do in cache valley right now. The competition is fierce.

Wish us luck, send a prayer or two. I don’t know but hopefully things work out…I know they always do the way they are supposed to.

4 more things about me

 

I love learning new things about myself. I am not one of those people who has themselves all figured out. I guess I don’t help with the female stigma that we’re a mystery! Sorry ladies!  It can be frustrating sometimes but it makes for a interesting journey!

That’s why I like doing these About Me lists because it makes me think about it and writing it down somehow solidifies it.

So here it goes.

  1. The red birthmark on my forehead has become a part of who I am and I’ll never get rid of it. At the dermatologist the other day he managed to mention how easily he could laser it to make it disappear which confirmed just how much I want to keep it where it is. Wouldn’t it look weird if it was gone? At least to the people who know me and to the person looking in the mirror it would.
  2. I love Mondays. The weekends for me are a time of total (ok almost total) relaxation. I tend to slack on the things that I normally do during the week.  And because of that things get out of kilter. By Monday I am ready to get back into my routine and have things on kilter again. I love the weekends but I also love the freshness of a Monday morning.
  3. I am a home body. If you gave me the choice to go out or to stay in the answer would be easy.  Of course this preference can be flip flopped occasionally when the need to go out boils up… But once I’ve had my outing, my experience or whatever it may be I’m good for another long while to just stay home. I am an excellent snuggler. I have a knack for being cozy and I like it that way.
  4. I’ve recently discovered that I prefer a closed concept home. This is big people. Occasionally I spend a few minutes during the week to think about our dream home that we will build or renovate someday. Open concept is the bomb right now. It’s what you see and so it’s what I was being told I wanted. This is why I would only spend a few minutes on it, it wouldn’t excite me, infact it would kind of depress me but I didn’t know why! Until about a week ago.  Turns out I love closed concept homes! Specifically closed or semi closed kitchens. Give me a kitchen that isn’t four feet from the living room couch thank you! It was one of those things that if there was a lightbulb above my head it would have turned on. And now I am so much more excited and happy about home hunting or home building.

 

Music to my Week

To say that I love music just doesn’t cut it.  I really really love music. I couldn’t live a full life without it. I am grateful for it. I feel like it has a greater affect on me than the written word and as you know that can be used for good or bad so I have to really watch myself.

In high school I had a period of time where I listened only to Eminem. Ya. Seriously. Yes it had a profound effect on me.  I was kind of an angry skinny blonde chick during that time. Sorry mom and dad.

Naturally because music is such a big part of my life I wanted to somehow incorporate it into my blog (which if you have noticed I am revamping). Which is why each week I hope to have a new song up. It could and will be just about anything. Apart from Eminem, I really love just about everything and every song I love has a special memory or feeling associated with it. I may or may not share that along with it…you will just have to wait and see!

Happy Singing!

 

One of my friends did this blog post today on her amazing blog and challenged others to do the same.

Since I am always open to blog post help I thought I would do it. Could be fun. Or eye opening or both. Here it goes…

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A picture of me right now, hair barely dry from shower, no makeup ya baby! 

 

Time I woke up: 6am which about normal, sometimes 6:30.

First thing I did upon waking: Wrote in my journal the things that had been on my mind from a conversation my husband and I had the night before that were really significant to me.

Current weather: Snow has finally stopped, water dripping from the roof slowly creating the famous giant icicles known for our apartment.
Last 3 things I read (not on the Internet): The Whistling Season by Ivan Doig and some children’s books.
Last website I visited: Pinterest
Last show I watched: Tried to watch the new Jungle Book with my youngest while his brother was still napping but we only got a few minutes in before he was too scared…. understandably.
Last thing I said: “Are you OK?” Directed to my husband after intense wrestling match with the boys(still going on). I can’t imagine them being able to keep this up much longer without actually injuring poor David. They are strong and agile little boogers!

Last out-of-the-ordinary thing that happened: My life must be pretty ordinary because I can’t think of anything other than I made my bed today at the late hour of 4:50. Even though in a few short hours we will crawl in it. Confession: I have gotten terrible at making the bed since David has been a mid day nap taker for about 1.5 years…what’s the point?! Oh how I look forward (though not as much as him I am sure) to when he is getting a full night’s sleep and nap time ends!
Last thing I ate: Beef stew from the Crock-Pot, yum.
Current whereabouts of other members of household: The three boys are out in the living room wrestling their daddy who just now got a phone call and seeks refuge in their bedroom.  Our Lucie lu is in Nevada on her farm.

What I was doing an hour ago: I think exactly an hour ago the boys were playing happily while David and I lay on our bed and talked for a few wonderful fleeting minutes.
What I’ll be doing an hour from now: Trying to survive the bedtime routine without too many threats or raised voices.

One thing I should be crossing off my to-do list today: My to-do list was actually accomplished today! Don’t think too highly of me, my list was very small today . Clean house, make dinner and workout. Check check check!
(post a picture of your home/apartment/room/location right now)

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Wrestling has turned into jumping off couch onto mattress and pillows with capes on.

 

Your turn! If you do it link back to me or let me know so I can see!  Here are the prompts.

(post a picture of yourself right now)
Time I woke up:
First thing I did upon waking:
Current weather:
Last 3 things I read (not on the Internet):
Last website I visited:
Last show I watched:
Last thing I said:
Last out-of-the-ordinary thing that happened:
(post a picture of one thing you’ve done so far)
Last thing I ate:
Current whereabouts of other members of household:
What I was doing an hour ago:
What I’ll be doing an hour from now:
One thing I should be crossing off my to-do list today:
(post a picture of your home/apartment/room/location right now)

 

Identity Crisis

You’ve heard it said before that when you become a mom you lose your identity as it gets swallowed up in all that is being MOM. Who are you anymore? What did you like to do in your spare time before besides sleep ? Were you pleasant to be around? Did you once know how to interact with other adults? Can you do it again? What kind of clothing style did I have? What’s my style now besides sweatpants and t-shirts? These are questions that I and I am sure other mom’s have asked themselves…at least I really hope I’m not the only one.

These questions come up in phases for me. I feel like I’ll have an identity crisis but then it goes away for a while and I am fine and feel great about life but now and then it will come up again. Because of this reoccurring pattern I deciding I needed to dig a little deeper.

This time around when the questions starting coming up again in my mom brain, I decided to talk to my wonderful husband about it. He is always a good listener when I need it and is also full of good advice.

It really came down to the sad and maybe pathetic fact that I really have no interests and hobbies outside being a mom! Sure, I like to cook and I’m not half bad as my husband enthusiastically pointed out but that for me is not part of my identity in that it makes me feel complete or like I am progressing. It is more something I do because I feel like I have to…because I WANT to give my family the best options as far as food and nutrition. I am happy to do it because then I sleep at night knowing they are healthy. I’m just weird like that. But it’s not a passion…something that I WANT to do just because it makes me happy and I have a genuine interest in it.

Make sense?

I also discovered talking with the hubster that it’s possible I never really ‘found myself’ in my college years. It was still definitely a time of growth and figuring the world out. The only time I identified with myself the most and was the most happy about my purpose and passion was when I was called ‘Sister Stephenson’. After that I feel like I was methodically thrown into wife-hood and motherhood.

Don’t worry about me…we are not talking about a serious identity crisis here. Just one that makes it clear I never really nourished or cultivated any real interest or hobbies in my growing up years. There was piano which I love and will get back soon when my piano can get repaired. But there really wasn’t much else that as an adult I took interest in and ‘blossomed’ on my own.

So!!! What does this all mean?!

Now the time has come!!!

Tacky as this may seem, a couple of hours were spent on websites found by typing in ‘Lists of Interests/Hobbies’ into Google. Ahahahahaha I know. Good ‘ol Google.

But it got the juices flowing. And I definitely was able to rule out the ones that I knew wouldn’t bring my any interest or happiness.

And despite my downer sort of uncertainty I did get almost a full page of interests copied down! I am so excited now!

Part of my hang up after I figured this out was how do you choose the right one? Which one is the most important? Especially since none of them seemed life changing or society impacting. But again my wise husband assured me that there is no such thing as one more important than another. As long as it makes me happy and it’s good then somehow, someday the Lord will use those experiences I had for good in helping others or myself.

So here is what I do know that I love and have interest in but will be put off until a future time mostly for financial purposes.

  1. Gardening – although I could do some reading in this area to learn more methods and terminology.
  2. Landscape gardening – This is what my dad has his degree in and is verrry good at it. Maybe some of it passed down!?
  3. HORSES! – ’nuff said
  4. Ballet
  5. Shooting – maybe even competitively? On horses?! AH!  How fun!
  6. Ju Jitzu
  7. Becoming a personal certified trainer – who focuses more on the nutrition side of things.
  8. Hosting parties – duh!
  9. Learning languages – Chinese is first! I could also do this currently but I feel that it would be better done at a later time.

But here is my list of interests/hobbies that I am able to do at this very moment!

  1. Breakmaking! I’ve been dabbling but now I’m not holding back anymore! Books are ordered and tools will be purchased. And the focus is on 100% whole wheat of course!
  2. Creative writing – because writing is fun and healthy. But I wouldn’t say that I’m very good at it. I need inspiration. And probably a revisit to grammar school.
  3. Dance/choreography – specifically hip hop or similar…this is one of those seemingly unimportant ones but to be able to move comfortably and not look like a string bean would make me happy. I love dance.
  4. Interior Decorating – Some research and study is all it would take and someday with a home is when I could try things out. Before really thinking about it I never thought I would be the type to be interested in Interior Decorating but after binge watching ‘Fixer Upper’ on Netflix with my husband it has sparked an interest in finding my own decorating style.
  5. Blogging!
  6. Meditation – something that I have come to feel is really beneficial and important to practice. But it’s pretty difficult so practice and become proficient I will!!!
  7. Piano
  8. Missionary Work – always praying for opportunities is all it takes!
  9. Education – this one would include becoming a proficient in Geography, math, nutrition and learning calligraphy or just bettering my handwriting overall.

Are you surprised powerlifting isn’t included in this list? Me too. I am still struggling with that one. Maybe in a different time of my life it will become a hobby again.

This whole mom thing is a journey and things change all the time! I feel like this discovery is really going to enrich my life and I hope that future identity crisis’ are non existent or at least less often. Cheers to finding myself as I fight thru the high and lows of these hobbies and experiences!

Have you ever had an identity crisis? What are your interests that give you purpose and happiness?

10 Things about Me

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  1. I’m a worry wart. A pretty bad one. But I have come a long way. My motivation to change was ironically the worry that I would make myself ill by worrying too much. “Give it to God and go to bed” is my new motto.
  2. If my life turned into the movie, Sliding Doors, my alternate life would consist of me being a member of the FBI or some other equally awesome group and being so good that I get taken up the ranks and turn into some completely badass (who swears) woman who fights the bad guys and saves innocent lives.
  3. Sometime in the very near future I plan on taking adult ballet classes. I’ve been obsessed with this form of dance since I can remember. I don’t care if I’m old and too tall. I’m doin’ it!
  4. Even today when I think of my mission and being ‘Sister Stephenson’, my eyes well up and I can wallow in sadness, gratitude, despondency and joy all at the same time. What an incredible experience (once in an eternity even) and I still wonder if I’ll ever ‘meet’ Sister Stephenson again in all her power and authority.
  5. The depth of my love for music is in measurable. And to say that my sense of smell is dominant compared to my other senses is a understatement. Here is something to chew on….Can you imagine if songs had smells? Oh I can. What a world that would be.
  6. I really hate chard…and I don’t care for rice.
  7. There is a name for it, Thalassophobia. Yup. I got it.
  8. I’ve broken my collar bone, had 3 stitches under my chin, had my widsom teeth removed and I have a mild form of Pectus excavatum.  One rib cage is kinda concave or lower than the other. Cool eh?
  9. I would rather eat chard than watch a violent movie. I DESPISE them. What nonsense.
  10. I love being a ‘step mom’. I’ve never felt like one. Just ‘mom’ to sweet Lucie who has called me that since she was 5. I feel so honored and blessed that I’ve been able to learn and grow in ways I wouldn’t have had she otherwise not been in my life. I love my Lucie Lu.